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Archive for the ‘comedy’ Category

The Booty Poem

Posted by tpegonline on April 12, 2013

I overheard a conversation in the barbershop recently where a couple of guys were talking about songs that were written to pay homage to what the called “the all-powerful booty.” I got to thinking, “Hmmmm… Are there any poems written about the booty?” Well, now there is one!

I’m just having a little fun with this so don’t be offended or anything like that.

I’ll use various songs (mostly in the rap genre) the way I used candy bars in my poem Call Me Mr. Goodbar.

This poem is a hybrid of my triple rhyme style and standard prose.

Here is a playlist on GrooveShark.com that I created for the songs mentioned in this poem:

CLICK HERE for “The Booty Poem” Audio Playlist

Enjoy!

______________________________________

“The Booty Poem”

© 2013 Tyrone Turner

All rights reserved

Honey bunny, you know that you got it stacked like IHOP.

I bet you keep a clean house and you cook-up good food while you Slap Chop.

You are a Shining Star and if you were on a shelf you would be on the top.

lookin' good cookin'

^^^

I’m sure that there is more to you than that ‘donk’ that you got.

But mercy, when it comes to junk in the trunk, you got a lot.

Any guy that gets to push up on that has struck it lucky like a leprechaun with a gold-filled pot.

^^^

I bet when guys are with their girls, they have to take notes from Rahiem Drinkwater and be on “Booty Watch.”

They’ll raise a glass to your gift and chug down a shot of scotch.

You’re doing great so you don’t have to ask like the late NYC Mayor, Ed Koch.

^^^

You make a brother wish he could say that The Girl is Mine.

You seem to be about your B-I and make Arab Money like Busta Rhymes.

When it comes to you folks can say She Got Her Own because you handle The Walking Dead like Police Officer Rick Grimes.

^^^

I can only imagine what cats would say to you in the club.

I’m sure they would offer to buy you a drink because they’ll be Caught Up like Chubb.

Fantasizing about putting you in that Hot Tub [of Love].

^^^

Below is what the average wannabe player would say.

He wouldn’t know what he’s saying because your cushion blinded him like Ray.

For you, it is the same old stuff, different day.

###

I’d like to get to know you better – “Damn! Baby Got Back!

You know you got a Big Ole Butt.

All I can think about was how I would like to see you Back That Thang Up and Shake It Fast because you have a real nice, soft, juicy one, Ms. Fat Booty.

buffie pink dress

You don’t have to put on fine lingerie to get my juices flowing. I’d prefer to see you in a wet tee-shirt and some Dazzey Duks.

You are looking mighty fine in that pink dress but I want to see that Booty Work.

38-24-37 like Bonita Applebum. Sweetie, Drop It Like Its Hot and Put It Down on Me.

That’s right…

Shake it like a Salt Shaker because you got More Bounce to the Ounce.

It’s all about Da Butt and watching you Wiggle It.

I hope that the DJ plays Rump Shaker and Shake That Ass Girl.

Just act like it is The Thong Song and make it do what it do and I’ll do The Humpty Dance.

Can we leave now and go somewhere and Let’s Get it On Tonight?

If I sound a little crazy just Blame It (On the Alcohol).

###

wasp waisted latina

Yep, you’ve heard it all before, but I just got to let you know.

There are a lot of women up in here tonight but you’re the star of this here show.

You’re like Vanity in the The Last Dragon and I’m Bruce Leroy because you give me that glow.

^^^

You sho nuff can Work It to the Bone.

That fatty of yours made that tower lean over in Rome.

This is an ode to that Fatty Girl called the Booty Poem.

____________________________________

CLICK HERE for “The Booty Poem” Audio Playlist

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Poetry, Puns & Pipes / “P3”

Posted by tpegonline on November 2, 2012

Hey there, folks.

I’m working to put together an event in early 2013 to feature poets, comedians, and singers/rappers.

I’ll call these events Poetry, Puns & Pipes or “P3” for short.

I’m looking at Tuesday, January 8th, 2013 as a tentative date at a Greenwich Village bar venue.

Please let me know if you’re interested in participating and/or attending an event like this.

Thanks!

Tyrone Turner
Coordinator / Promoter / Poet / Author

Posted in comedy, poetry, spoken word | Leave a Comment »

“Back In Love Again” audio project

Posted by tpegonline on November 24, 2010


“We ain’t your granddaddy’s poetry slam.”

Not that anything is wrong with poetry slams, we just have a different interpretation of them and how they can lead to other form of artistic expression.

For instance, I, Tyrone Turner, selected 10 poems from my soon-to-be-published book, For the Love of Women of Color, to use for a dramatic audio and eventually a short film and stage play called “Back In Love Again”.

The poems “How Could You?” and “A Tall Glass of Water”were written by and are the intellectual property of Tyrone Turner, Copyright 2010 and Beyond – All rights reserved!

Tyrone Turner is a co-founder of Turning Point Entertainment Group (TPEG).

OBJECTIVES OF THIS PROJECT

In short, this project will lead to CD, DVD, MP3, and MP4 products – along with live performances.

I can’t do this alone. That is why I’m looking to partner with people who do voice-over work, other poets, musicians, singers, actors, promoters, and audio and video techs.

I do not intend to be the voice of the poems, but I wanted to demonstrate the model for you to give you a better picture of what I’m proposing.

Click on the links below to listen to the overviews and the dramatic expressions of two of the 10 selected poems.

About the book, For the Love of Women of Color (3 minutes, 48 seconds). Click here to listen…

About the Back in Love Again Project (2 minutes, 52 seconds)
CLICK HERE

CENTER>##############################

Part 1 of 10 “How Could You?”, (2 minutes, 8 seconds).

CLICK HERE

I gave you my heart as a love offering and you cast it way like some loathsome thing.

In you I had my greatest hopes. Now without you, I am living my worst nightmare.

I hoped that our love bonding would one day result in a bright-eyed bundle of joy.

Instead you have given me the heavy burden of rejection to carry the rest of my days.

Your dagger has dug so deep that no surgeon could ever stitch the wound.

I really, really did love you.

I still do.

At one time, the mere thought of you sent me soaring over the highest mountains.

Now, your bitter-sweet memory makes me cry enough to flood over the deepest sea.

For you I stopped being like a ravenous dog chasing after every skirt that I came across.

In return, you pulled up my skirt and violated me. You didn’t even leave $5 on the table afterwards.

I let you pull my strings and you took those strings, made a noose, and put them around my neck.

You’ve shattered my being like a glass and turned my brown eyes blue.

Sweetheart, how could you?

##############################

Part 2 of 10 “A Tall Glass of Water” (2 minutes, 54 seconds)
CLICK HERE

You tread these desert highways in search of some satisfaction.

All that you want is fro someone to hold you, share goals with you, and for someone to satisfy your body, mind, and soul.

All of the others that you’ve encountered were dried-up wells but I’m your oasis, my dear.

I’ll shower you with affection and I’ll have you surfing on the waves of good times.

I will help you attain what you desire and conquer that which you fear.

You will be baptized with tender loving care.

All of that old heartache will be washed away. You will no longer thirst because you will have more than you ever imagined.

You will be floating on the sea of love.

You’re probably asking yourself, “Is this man promising me the world?”

Well, sort of because you’ll be refreshed and you whistle be be wet like you just chugged down a tall glass of water.

##############################

So, let me know what you think.

Thanks!

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